Top 4 Ideas to Show Mama the Love on Mother’s Day

I made a TikTok video yesterday - yes, I am now obsessed with TikTok and am late to catch that train, but here we are - about some ideas to show a mom the love. I thought it would be fun to write about these ideas so I can share my thoughts a little more. These ideas are great for a new mama in the thick of it, but also work for veteran moms. Keep reading til the end for a fun freebie that goes along with this blog!

As I put together the ideas, I was thinking about them coming from the perspective of a partner, but of course a friend or family member can also use these suggestions! Also, keep in mind, these are just that - suggestions. So, from the perspective of a maternal health OT who focuses on the mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing of mamas, here you go!

1. Share words of affirmation and validation

All of that clunky and jargony speak to mean - notice and acknowledge her. A lot of times moms experience guilt, questioning, fear, anxiety. They are also going through hormone changes and exhaustion. They easily forget things, sometimes because there’s just no more room left in their minds to hold on to information. Reminders of things she’s doing and that the struggle is real can go a long way.

Try to be specific. Use as much detail as you can remember to describe something you “caught” her doing well, or something that you acknowledge must have been challenging.

There is definitely a time for sharing (as a partner or loved one living under the same roof, of course you are also going through things, and this is not to downplay any of that!) but in this moment, try to make it less about you and more about what she is going through. Giving this separation in time will help SO much in her truly feeling seen in a time when she may otherwise feel invisible to the world.

Use your strengths to help make the message even more clear. Consider whether you’re strong with talking out loud, writing a message down on a note or card, or even recording yourself on a voice memo or video! If you have kiddos who can talk, they can share too!

2. Offer a time to sit down to listen and truly hear

Chances are, mama needs to process her pregnancy, birth experience, and/or motherhood journey. Things often go differently than what she planned or expected, or what she learned from friends, family, practitioners, or classes she took. Or, maybe her experience went how she planned, but she’s now feeling all the things about the journey. She may be totally fine with this (and her sharing may be mostly excitement!), or she may need time to process it all.

When offering to listen, consider that this is a time for her. Partners and loved ones have their own processing to do as well, and that is encouraged. For this particular moment, try to make it be about her experience. Ask open-ended questions so she can consider how she feels.

You may think about offering a certain time and place to go chat, making it clear that it’s her time to get things off her chest. Or, you could suggest that she write a quick journal entry or note about it for herself or to share with you. Maybe you offer for her to record her thoughts and then share her voice memo with you at a different time. Use whatever communication style works best for both of you.

3. When gifting an item, consider things related to self-care needs

Moms often put themselves last in the priority list, or they just don’t have time to put their own needs ahead of anyone else’s. They may forget to stay hydrated or fueled with healthy snacks, or they may think they have no time to exercise.

Things that brought them joy before babies/kids often seem to have to go on the bottom of the list, because mom guilt is REAL. Moms tend to convince themselves that they shouldn’t do the things they want or need because it takes away from baby. Of course, baby’s needs are real and important, but she needs to know that her needs are just as important. Plus, if she is happy and healthy, she is an even better caregiver to that sweet babe!

First, see if you can remember anything she’s mentioned needing or wanting lately that could help with her self-care needs. Or, has she mentioned something she keeps forgetting to do for herself? Do you notice something she could prioritize but doesn’t think of herself?

Some examples: a fun water bottle to help with hydration, a basket of her favorite snacks set out by the rocker or couch, an adult coloring book and colored pencils, a planned exercise time where you take care of baby/kiddo, or a planned short outing or phone time with a friend, no questions asked.

4. Take the initiative to give her a true break

This one kind of goes with number 3, and it may be my favorite idea of all. Take the initiative, without being asked, to plan a time for mama to truly take a break. Give her at least 2 hours (more, if possible!) where she doesn’t have to worry about anything at all, and can truly get a mental and physical break.

Plan ahead so that family and household needs are generally met. Pack the bag for baby with a change of clothes, diapers, snacks, bottles. Make sure the dog is walked or has a toy to keep busy. Either get the bottles or dishes done, or encourage her honestly to forget about them. Take the baby or kiddo to a park or friend’s house so there are no distractions related to crying or needing mom. Tell her you’re going to be gone for X amount of time, and that she can use that time for whatever she needs. Bring home a meal.

I wanted to emphasize one thing, through all of these suggestions. The needs of baby, kiddos, and partner, are also very important. I think, with a little practice, there is a way to make one person feel needed, loved, and cared for, while still acknowledging that the baby and others have needs, too.

On Mother’s Day, let’s give the mamas out there a little extra love.

In case you’re curious about my awesome, amazing, perfectly edited (ha!!) TikTok on this topic, here it is!

AND! Have mama subscribe to the mighty mOThers newsletter to grab a great freebie (Self Care Worksheet) that goes hand-in-hand with the above suggestions and helps Mama think about her needs, plus communicate them with others (again - sleep deprivation, the mental load, and stress!!)

Disclaimer: Content provided by mighty mOThers, LLC is informational in intent, and is not meant to replace or contradict guidance provided by your personal doctor, therapist, or other healthcare practitioner. Please contact your healthcare provider or schedule a 1:1 evaluation with an OT with specific concerns, and call 911 if you are having a physical or mental health emergency.